EXHAUSTED

almost 4 month x publish entry kt blog ni.. da bersawang da.. bkn stakat spider je ade ni.. sawang tarantula pun da wujud in every corner of my blog... sometimes lupa yg ade blog... mlm ni x leh tdo.. sbb ade something yg still wondering in my mind... tak penat ke aku cube jadi sempurna di mata org laen???? x penat ke aku compare diri aku ngan org laen??? x penat ke aku rasa aku serba kekurangan compare ngn org laen?? x penat ke aku tipu diri sendiri??? x penat ke aku hipokrit ngn diri sendiri???

Skrg aku da start rasa.. apa aku buat mostly because of others not really what i want to.. aku try hard utk buat org laen hepi, aku try hard utk bahagiakn idup org laen... bkn idup aku sendiri,...tp satu je yg aku yakin... AKU TERLALU TAKSUB TUK JADI PERFECTIONIST! everything aku buat aku akan buat with all my heart.. its good.. tp sometimes aku buat something just to compete others...  ikhlas ke aku dgn setiap apa aku buat????? 

penat tuk jadi sempurna di mata org.... mmg impossible nk buat sume org suka ngn kite..tp aku try to be nice dgn sume org... i would love to have lots of friends... coz aku sbnrnye x ramai kwn yg rapat.. bley kire ngan sebelah tangan je kot... masa skolah dlu.. aku kuat sngt bond ngn parents n family.. smpai x de besfren pown... even skrg aku  da x lupe kbnykan kwn skolah... org laen balik kg.. mid sem.. call .. kuar..chill ngn member2.... tp aku x de pun... onestly lps je spm. aku x pnh kluar ramai2 ngn kwn2.. aku just kluar ngn family je...skrg kt usm ni.. ade la sorang dua yg rapat.. tp ade gap jgk... sometimes aku rasa aku rapat, aku bley depend ngn org tu.. or aku bley share problem aku ngn dye.. tp onestly TAKKK!!  org yg aku rasa ley depend on tu la org yg first akan ckp." sori babe.. aku bz".. " sori.. ngntuk la...sdgkn masa tu aku tgh down.. nanges bgai nk rak...  mlm ni benda sama jadi lg.. aku just nk tmn tuk jd pendengar... n bley advise aku...

lately.. aku rasa aku better than before.. aku spend most of my time doing something yg aku minat... instance, aku suke fashion n gaya.. coz aku  rasa penampilan tu melambangkan sape kite ... org ckp" Dont just a book by its cover".. but then the first impression always matters... even kdg2 aku mendapat pandangan sinis ble aku pkai pelik2 pg klas.. tp x de la pelik... normal je kowt... at least benda tu buat aku hepi... lau bab ni it is totally.. 100%  utk kepuasan diri sendiri... 

oooo.. lupe nk story... lately ramai yg tnye aku kapel ngn spe.. especially member2 pompuan..as usual pompuan mmg x ley lari dr 'kepochi'... aku da ade satu opinion bru on couple2 ni... coupling is only allowed in my life for termination process of polymer growth... (ehem2.. bajet polymer engineer btol) .. actually aku da level menyampah aka benci ngn kapel2... sbb onestly bnyk keburukan dr kebaikan...  tp tipu la lua kata x pnh terlintas langsung nk cari pengganti.. hahah... bajet giler... tp bkn skrg... lambat lagi kowt... bnyk lagi kepuasan diri yg aku nk capai... aku nk degree..aku nk master..aku nk phd.aku nk mini cooper n the most important aku nk baiki diri dlu .. aku nk jadi hamba Allah yg baek.... In sha Allah... aku da straight ckp ngn my mum" yein nk kawen umo 30". ma ckp" tuanya.. kawen la awal ckit".. after aku tolerate.. aku rasa the most optimum la 28.. hahaha... mesti korang kata aku sewel.. tp reality... mmg 28 la target ... x nk awal.. x nk lewat...

 rupenye bnyk gak yg aku plan tuk diri sendiri... tp aku just plan... yg tentukan Allah SWT..  skrg ni.. ble aku slalu la muhasabah or fikir  balik... aku da dpt detect bnyk imperfection dalam diri aku...  yg plg jelas lagi ketara... as stated above...terlalu fikir sal org laen...  start from today... aku nk try adapt myself tuk kikis sifat2 yg x elok tu... moral of the story...korang jgn  jadi cm aku k... jadi diri sendiri... buat apa yg korang suke as long as benda tu x salah... susah tau nk buang bperangai2 buruk ni.. dye cm smoking habit la... tp to all those smokers... x pe nk smoke.. itu hak peribadi..halal haram.. baek buruk.. masing2 ada akal.. msg2 bley fkir.... 

jom tdo jom.. da lewat..esok ade industrial visit ke perlis... arghh ..not another bas lag.. actually yg wujud just jet lag..tp sbb aku x mmpu naek flight pi perlis.. aku nek bas ja.. so bas lag la.... susah btol lau ade travel sickness cm aku...

ni la jawabnye

ubat travel sickness yg awesome..

nite sume org....

..

A week???

   hi ... its almost 2 weeks x update dis blog. coz i really dont have time for it.. well ..im just done with my final xam... which was quite tough.. but then really glad that it ended up well. . time for a long break... gonna be about 3 months at home... yeay me coz im gonna 'puasa' at home... so can eat my mum's cooking..
   last friday, my parents n i went to kL .. my youngest sister was chosen to study in Taylor collage for her Pre-U under the Bursary of Kementerian Pelajaran..really sick of the journey ...it took 7 hours ... n last nite i came home with  fever n cold...
  i got a feeling that something was wrong....i knew it, i tried to straight it up but evrything i did was just a mess.. i hate the fact that im doing the same mistakes again n again...being home alone makes me think about it n i cant forget it..
    its been a week of break n i did nothing... really miss to cook but for who??? i stayed home alone while my parents work... wish i can start cooking n try new recepies dis week s,then i can share them here as i used to do before...

...

Its study week  n as usual rasa stress sngt2 coz lots of things bothers me. i even cant have my good sleep..  really wanna end it up.. n my carry marks bring me down..arghh.. how can i??

whats in ur bag?

normally as a girl, bnyk sngt stuff yg nk ken abwk bile keluar either nk g klas or nk kuar jenjalan. tp for me there are only few things yg compulsary aka WAJIB   bwk bile nk kluar...

ada certain2 org kena bwk beg make up la.. mcm2 la...tp bg yein as long as ada seme ni. da cukup da. yg plg penting my watch. sbb it used to be my mum tp my mum bg kat i. really love it.

polymer Grand nite

theme:eternal elegance ala2 hollywood u olss....

Saya org biase2 je...

hi.. its getting late. da 3 am..im still alive... lalala... not sleeping yet..  not in a good mood to  sleep.. something makes me cry.. i miss my home sweet home... even bru je balik kg last weekend.. kindda homesicks n sedey... pernah korang rasa mcm hidup ni x complete???  skrg yein tgh rasa perasaan tu.... rasa cm x lengkap... incomplete n so dull.. yup.. im having some personal issues..
1)with my best friend
he is a boy.. very sweet... n nice boy.. but then dye cm x serasi n selesa with me... mybe dye baek sngt n yein x sebaik dye.. dye da x reply msg yein.. n dye just ignore me when sy tegur dye... sedey kan?? yein syg dye sbb dye baik... mybe syg ni lebey dr kawan?? Wallahualam... yein pun x tau...
solution: cry n mengadu kat another friend of mine.. yg da mcm abg yein da kat usm ni...even dye sebaya tp dye baek.. tp dye ada gf da.. so mmg kekal as abg adik.. =(  (buat ayat kesian plak yein ni kan)



2) im worried bout my study
rasa x well prepared la.. da almost abes da sem 2 ni tp blaja ntah ke mana.. takut.. result kena maintain.. aigooo..
solution: try to work harder n built some interest in advanced engineering calculus.

3) rasa nak ada bf??
gatal la plak si yein ni.. tp kdg2 rasa cm nk ada bf bile tgk org laen ada bf... nampak cm hepi.. tp adae ke org nak kat yein??? or yein terlalu memilih??? rasanya 2-2 reasons ni betul... yein ni style yg aktip n pelik sikit..mane ade laki yg nak kt pompuan yg terlalu konfiden n terlalu  aktif...  lelaki akan pilih yg baek..pendiam ..muka baek.. bkn cm yein..mmg x de langsung ciri2 tu...
solution: sabar je la.. lau x de org nak nk buat cmne lg....  tunggu je la...

 tp apa2 pun.. yein still org biasa yg slalu rasa x sempurna n thanks kat everyone yg menyempurnakan idup yein.my famili...sume student polimer..sume kwn kat usm .. syg sume org sngt2... yein is a big girl..n big girls dont cry...need to stop crying like a baby.. coz thats what i do when im upset..=(

labour day?

hai... da lama kn x mebebel kat sini.. rindu ..tapi sngt bz n x de masa nk on9. yein  balik weekend aritu as yein buat my own cuti on monday. balik nek bus tp dtg ngan kwn2. ok la.. tp penat n rasa x puas hati sngt sbb rasa cm kejap sngt. ooo.. lupa la nk cite.. yein ada dinner ..polimer nite next week.. but then x de baju lg nk pkai. temanya hollywood.  sngt susah.. rasa cm nkmix n match je.. x nk membazir... urm... so dis weekend im planning to go out..find some stuff to put on..,   on  30  april, my sis punye besday. so kami kluar mkn... at restauran ape ntah.. tpmknannye biase2  je.. x de la best sngt...  tp cakenye sedap sbb my younger sis yg sponsor.
yein pelik tau bke org ckp yein ni muka kapel2 padahal yein x de bf pun.. yin just rasa ok tuk kwn ngan sume..x de rase la nk ada special relationship.not ready yet for any komitmen.. urmm.. penat la plak.. k la., next time yein story lg...  nyte...